


The New Uranians

by Janus_Em



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 02:21:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7826458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janus_Em/pseuds/Janus_Em
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is a high school student in Lawrence, Kansas having a difficult time coming to terms with his sexuality.  His first instinct is to get through high school without anyone knowing.  He sees no good coming from anyone at school, or his family discovering his preference for boys.  Things only get more difficult, especially after meeting the liberal minded Cas Novak who fears nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back to School

**Author's Note:**

> This work is unbeta'd please forgive any misspellings.

Life was perfect, and it was supposed to stay that way, at least until the end of the school year. Dean had a great social life, a beautiful girlfriend, and college was on the horizon. Then it all fell apart. It began to unravel that first week of the new school year when he noticed Aaron Bass walking into the cafeteria. As usual, he walked in alone. All his friends, including Dean, had long ago abandoned him one by one since their freshmen year. Now, in their senior year, Aaron was completely alone. It made no sense to Dean how Aaron could make himself be such a target, to endure all the ridicule their fellow students were more than willing to throw at him.

On this day, he drew a little more attention to himself than usual. He walked into the cafeteria wearing a pair of jeans that hung low and gripped him tightly around his waist. In fact, they looked like the same kind of jeans Dean’s girlfriend might have worn. Along with the jeans, he wore a sleeveless dark denim jacket with fake fur lining the sockets where his arms came out. The fur appeared newer than the denim and looked as if Aaron added it himself.

Aaron sauntered across the cafeteria with his book bag slung across his shoulder carrying it more like a purse. Dean couldn’t help but panic a bit when Aaron stopped to stand next to the table where he sat alone.

“Hi, Dean.”

He waited for Dean to respond, but instead he scoffed, took another bite of his burger and looked away from Aaron.

“You’re not going to say, ‘hi’?” He waited a second then continued, “Really, Dean? I’m not here, right in front of you?”

Dean knew it wasn’t right, but his skin crawled; He just wanted Aaron to leave. The longer he stood near Dean, the more people would notice them together. None of the guys liked the kind of attention Aaron brought with him, although, Dean really had nothing to worry about in the way of reputation. Still the looks and comments Aaron provoked, he wanted no part of it.

“All you guys. You think because I’m talking to you, you’re going to catch something or that people are going to think we’re hooking up. Your friends are assholes, Dean! But you, you’re the worst. You’re such a coward. You…”

“Keep moving, Faggot!” Alastair Jones star of both the baseball diamond and the football field let his lunch tray land loudly next to Dean at the table. Tall, square shouldered with a crew cut, he was your typically loud, aggressive jock. He sat down without even looking in Aaron’s direction.

“I can stand where I like!” Aaron bellowed, clutching his book bag, clearly bothered by what Alastair called him.

“Isn’t there some ‘Pride’ parade you should be marching in or some one you should be blowing?” Alastair finally looked up at him with what could only be described as irritated disgust.

Benny Lafitte and Cain Smith, who had been standing behind Alastair, laughed out loud before sitting down directly across from Alastair and Dean. The four of them were the best of friends, and were either on the football, baseball, or basketball team with one another, and had been since grade school.

They were the alpha dogs, the top of the totem pole of their school and they loved it. Especially, Alastair and Cain. They walked around campus eager to bully anyone who didn’t get out of their way, or who stood out too much, or just didn’t fit their idea of what “normal” should be. That of course, made Aaron one of their all time favorite whipping boys.

Aaron looked to Dean pleading for some kind of help, but Dean could only shake his head wishing that Aaron would just end it and walk away.

He turned back to Alastair and said, “I wasn’t talking to you!”

Cain laughed, “Yeah, Alastair. Leave _Gaayron_ alone, he wasn’t talking to you.”

“You’re such a assholes!” Aaron said keeping his voice down, noticing that others in the cafeteria were beginning to look at their table.

“Then leave!” Alastair said his mouth full of chips. Aaron faltered in his step, but then quickly headed toward the line of students to get his lunch.

“Damn. Why were you even talking to that faggot, Deano?” Alastair asked.

“I wasn’t talking to him,” Dean snapped back. “ _He_ was talking to _me_.”

“Ok, why was that faggot talking to you?” Alastair looked over to Dean.

“How the hell should I know, maybe he was waiting for you,” Dean said taking the last bite of his burger.

“Ooh, Alastair!” Cain elbowed Alastair causing the jock to nearly drop his bottle of water.

Alastair glared back at Cain, “Shut the hell up, Smith! You’re the one with the earrings. What the hell’s that? You look like a gay pirate!”

Cain was the punk wannabe of the school. Like Alastair, he was a great athlete, but loved the extra attention his earrings and lip ring brought him. He pretended to be the bad boy renegade, but he was just as conservative, and a conformist as Alastair and the other jocks.

“Ha!” Dean yelped, “He wants to share piercings with you.”

“That faggot wants something alright!” Cain said with a shake of his head.

Alastair took a bite of the chicken sandwich on his tray then said, “Goddamn freak probably gets a hard-on every time we fuck around with him.”

Dean looked up to see Aaron still in line to get his lunch. The line moved very little in the time that he left their table, and occasionally he kept looking back at them. Alastair grinned widely at him letting food fall from his mouth as he blew Aaron a kiss. A scowl of anger and confusion swept over Aaron’s face. He stood there looking hurt before running out of the cafeteria altogether.

“Wow, you guys are really tough.”

Cas Novak seemed to come out of nowhere, and stood where Aaron had been only moments before. Anna Milton was with him wearing the familiar digital camera around her neck she took everywhere. The two were members of the school newspaper with Cas’ articles often accompanied with Anna’s pictures. Cas was the wittiest, and funniest student in the school. His articles were usually written with a heavy liberal slant, a fact that bothered many people in their conservative school in Lawrence, Kansas. He got away with, and said things that nobody else could, especially when talking to guys like Alastair. It occurred to Dean that most of the time, Alastair or the other guys probably didn’t even understand half the things he said to them.

He smiled down at Alastair and said, “You must really be something when you’re out running through the streets on Halloween night, grabbing bags of candy off little kids.”

“Hey, Cas. How’s it going?” Dean quickly said before Alastair or the others could say anything in response to his comment.

“Ok.” He looked to Dean and added, “We need to talk to you and Charlie as soon as possible. We need to get an article going on what the two of you plan on doing during the first weeks of school. You know, upcoming events, fundraisers, all that.”

Dean quickly responded with, “We can meet after school. We have Leadership last period, I’ll tell her we all need to meet up.”

“I can’t believe you’re serious about doing all that Student Council crap,” Alastair chimed in with a sneer.

“You know he is. He is a man on a mission!” Cain turned to Dean.

“Yeah, at least I have a goal, Smith. After high school, you’ll end up smoking pot in your parents’ basement for the next 20 years.”

He laughed, “It’s a plan for me!”

“Well, thanks, Dean.” Cas turned to Anna to say, “Okay, we’d better go before Alastair and Cain start throwing their trash at the Special Ed. kids.”

“Screw off, Paper Boy!” Alastair finally shot back.

“You mean we can’t stay and have lunch with you guys?” Anna threw in.

Alastair looked up with a deadpan expression on his face, “First that faggot, now you two freaks. Why don’t the two of you go off and cut yourselves?”

Cas looked down at him maniacally, “No one does that anymore, Alastair. Now we write gruesome stories about taking revenge on witless, Neanderthal jocks and post them all over the Internet.”

“Talk to you after school, Cas. Later, Anna.” Dean said hoping he and Anna would take the hint.

“Cool,” Cas nodded to Dean and with that he and Anna took off laughing as they walked away.

Alastair suddenly asked, “Hey, are you guys coming to Back to School Night, tonight? My dad’s coming and I got a hold of one of Uriel’s joints. We can toke up before...”

Dean flatly stated, “No, I don’t do that anymore. Besides, I have to start research for my term paper.”

“Already!” Alastair swung his head to face him, “What’re you, crazy? It’s a ‘term’ paper. It isn’t due until the end of the semester. That’s in January!”

“His mission. Remember the mission,” Benny added with a smile.

Alastair grimaced, “How much better can you do?”

Benny reminded him of Dean's long term plans, “He wants to make sure he gets into a college on the West Coast.”

“The West Coast! Talk about fags! You know, they do call it the land of fruits and nuts?” Food fell from Cain’s mouth as he laughed at his own joke.

Dean knew it probably sounded dumb to them. They who were perfectly happy to spend the rest their lives in this narrow minded, Midwest town, couldn’t understand his desire to leave it, “What’s wrong with wanting to leave this boring ass state? My parents said if I can accepted into a school in California, they’d help pay for it. Besides, come on, California, all those blonde girls out there with their big honking boobs!”

Alastair laughed, “Ok, Deano. You’ve got a point. A whole state of girls with tig ol’ bitties!”

Benny added, “Now that’s California Dreaming!”

“Whose tig ol’ bitties are we talking about, boys?” Dean looked up to see Andrea Kormos standing at their table. Next to her were Lisa Braeden, and Meg Masters. All three were members of the pom-pom team, and all three were carrying new uniforms and pom-poms wrapped in plastic. After having lunch with the guys, Lisa’s beautiful smile was a refreshing sight to Dean. He and Benny got up from the table at the same time. Benny put one arm around Andrea, and tossed the trash from his lunch into a nearby can with the other. Dean moved over to Lisa, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips taking the books and bags from her hands.

Lisa, Andrea, and Meg were friends for as long the guys were. Lisa and Andrea were a lot alike. They were both good students who did well in school, and expressed an interest in attending the University of Kansas there in Lawrence. Andrea was more of an extrovert and more out going and wild than Lisa, but Dean preferred Lisa as she was. Then there was Meg. Meg had a bad reputation that began sometime in junior high, and did just about everything she could to foster and maintain that reputation.

She spoke more provocatively than most of the other girls, and had an incredible body that started to develop some time back in the seventh grade when all the rumors about her also started. Even now she wore a tight fitting black dress that looked like she was going on a date rather than to school. Cain motioned for her to sit him on his side of the table. Instead, she sat close to Alastair, but gave Cain a wink.

“Is it your turn this weekend, Alastair?” Cain said with a slight tone of jealousy.

Benny laughed out loud. Dean felt Lisa tense a bit at what the joke implied. But it certainly didn’t bother Meg. She only laughed along with them and said as she threw her hair back, “It _is_ his turn this weekend, and he’s going to love every moment of it.”

Then she turned to Cain, “You’ll have to spend another lonely weekend with your hand!”

Alastair gave a whoop as Cain made a face and went back to his lunch. Meg tilted her head, smiled, and added that she was only kidding, yet something told Dean she really wasn’t kidding all that much.

Benny and Andrea said good-bye and headed out into the quad. Lisa nudged Dean, and they too said their good-byes and walked out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. They reached Lisa’s locker where she squeezed all her things into it. She took out the books she would need for her last two classes of the day. Just as she closed the door to her locker, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

“Oh, no,” she looked at Dean with disappointment. “We didn’t get to spend any time together. And we can’t meet after school. Today’s the first day of practice.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll have lunch tomorrow. Then of course we still have Friday.” Dean gave her a little kiss on the lips, “But, we can meet any night you want this week, we don’t have to wait until Friday.”

She sighed a little, “No, it’s okay. We both have a lot to do, especially now. I can wait until Friday at the usual time.” She smiled at Dean, and it warmed his heart knowing how lucky he was to have her, and he hoped that he could keep everything as it was, and hold on to her until the end of the school year.

 

***

 

Down in the basement of his parents’ house, Dean sat on the floor with his back to the couch watching TV while doing research on his laptop. Aside from his mom occasionally coming down during laundry day, or his dad coming down for an old book in the large bookcase behind the couch or to tend to his fish, the bottom floor was Dean's haven.

Dean looked up from his computer as he heard Mary Winchester open the door above the stairs, but neither she nor the door were visible from where he sat.

“Dean, Cas’ here. Should I send him down?”

“Yeah, Mom. Thanks,” Dean called back to her.

Within minutes Cas padded his way down the carpeted stairs in his pristine white socks. Mary and her desire for a clean, white carpet made all his friends take their shoes off when they came into the house. Cas still wore the clothes he wore to school, but then again, it was hard to tell with Cas. He almost always wore black, but wasn’t some kind of Goth kid, or anything like that. After seeing and talking to him for the first time, Mary called him a “bohemian.”

Dean never heard the word before and had to look it up, but then quickly agreed with his mother after reading the definition. Cas, his brother Balthazar, and their father moved to Lawrence a year ago from Kansas City, MO. His father was a part-time professor at community college there then moved the family after he took a full-time position at the University where Mary worked. From the moment Cas started school he stirred up trouble. He took journalism as an elective, and within the first month was nearly suspended for putting an advertisement for Planned Parenthood in the school newspaper. Dean met Cas later that year at Christmas when he and Anna interviewed Dean and Lisa after they were crowned junior King and Queen of the Winter Formal.

Now Cas stood at the bottom of the stairs with a mischievous smile on his face. He let out a little laugh when looked over and saw what it was Dean was searching on his laptop.

“Kurt Vonnegut? Really? You’re already doing your research this early?”

“You know better than anyone why, how much I want to leave this place.”

Cas quietly said, “I wish you’d quit saying that.”

Dean looked up at Cas’ knowing how he felt about Dean’s plans, still they did not deter him, “It’s not so much that I want to leave, as it is that I want to go.”

Cas sat down next to Dean on the floor.

Dean breathed in heavily then assured him, “It’s just that… I don’t think I could be myself here. That no one would want me to be myself here.”

Cas shook his head, “You don’t give your family enough credit.”

Dean shrugged his shoulders putting the laptop on the floor next to him allowing Cas to pull him in closer. “There’s no reason to leave. Both our parents teach at the university here. We could share a dorm room. It would be the same as being on our own. You don’t need to leave.” He waited for Dean to turn to him then continued, his face and lips just inches from Dean’s, “We don’t need to leave.”

He held onto the intimacy of Cas’ stare a moment longer then looked away, but leaned his body back into him, hungry for the touch of the other boy then said, “Yeah, and we can run into my mom after she teaches one of her classes. She’s there three days a week, you know. Holy shit, then there’s my dad. He meets her for lunch at least twice a week. Can you imagine his reaction if he was to catch walking on campus holding hands.”

“Then we’ll make it Kansas City.” He whispered in Dean’s ear, “You’ll love Kansas City. It’s more of a city, we can get lost there. No one would bother us.”

“No one would bother us?” Dean shook his head, “Come on, Cas. You don’t watch the news? This is the Midwest where assholes make it a point of taking away the rights of people like us.”

“Exactly.” Cas gently kissed the edge of Dean’s ear and said, “That’s why we stay and fight them. _Demand_ our rights, make them acknowledge that we have the same rights as they do.”

Dean nudged back at him playfully, “I can’t see myself marching in a Pride parade shirtless wearing short shorts.”

“There are more constructive ways to stand up and demand your rights,” Cas laughed.

Dean let out a frustrated breath, and let his head rest against Cas’, “I want us to get away, far way. Go someplace where we can be completely alone, where no one will bother us and we won’t bother anyone else.”

“You want to be alone with me?” His lips tickled Dean’s ear as he spoke, “We’re alone now.”

He nestled his face into Dean kissing the side and back of his neck. Dean made an empty attempt to move away, “Stop, someone will come in.”

“Who? Sam?” His words were hot against Dean’s skin. Dean looked away as Cas continued to kiss the side of his neck, “He’s not home. I saw him riding his bike over to Jessica’s when I parked my car.” He moved a hand over Dean’s chest and pulled him in even closer, “And your dad isn’t home yet. I didn’t see his car when I came in through the garage.” Placing a finger on Dean’s chin, he gently turned Dean's face toward him kissing his way to Dean's lips. Dean let himself fall deeply into the kiss. He marveled how exciting and stimulating he found it to be. Cas’ lips caressed Dean’s as he said between kisses, “If your mom does come down, we’ll hear her open the door before she comes in.” Dean’s arousal was complete; quickly he stood up before it went any farther.

He sat down on at the end of the couch and said, “My mom’s right upstairs.”

Cas too got up and sat at the other end of the couch. He put his elbow on the arm of it resting his head in his hand. He peered into Dean’s eyes saying nothing, but not looking away. His unkempt black hair intensified the deep blue of his eyes. Those incredibly dark blue eyes were the first thing he noticed about Cas, the thing that kept him looking at him more often than he liked in the beginning of their friendship.

The door opened again, and again Mary Winchester wasn’t visible as she shouted down to them, “Honey, did you invite Cas to dinner?”

“No, Mrs. Winchester. He didn’t.” He winked at Dean.

Mary called down to him, “Well, Cas, would you like to stay for dinner?”

“I would love to, Mrs. Winchester. Thank you.” Cas shouted back turning his head slightly to the door, but keeping his eyes on Dean.

“Of course, Cas. You’re always welcome here.”

The sound of the door closed once more leaving them alone.

“See?” Dean said in a husky whisper getting up to point at the staircase. “She came back. She would’ve seen us.”

“No, Dean. She wouldn’t have seen us. She didn’t even come down.”

“Okay, maybe not.” Dean looked at him as he bent over and picked up his computer from the floor. He shut it down, and put on the table next to the couch, “You should have told me you were coming over.”

Cas asked with feigned antagonism, “I have to tell you when I’m coming over, now?”

“No, but I could have…”

“Dean,” He interrupted. “I’ve been coming here since the spring. Since that day I brought you back from the clinic with your crutches. Your mom treated me like a hero.”

Dean replied with a laugh and smile, “Yeah, you’ve got her fooled.”

“We’re friends, Dean. Friends visit each other. Besides, you ditched me after school. Anna and I couldn’t find you or Charlie anywhere.”

“She and Dorothy had plans. They left right after the bell rang. Once she was gone, I didn’t see any point in hanging around.”

“You should have texted or something, you knew I’d be looking for you.”

“Sammy found me first, and we walked home together.” Dean smiled at him, “But I am glad you came over, even if you didn’t call. I was kind of hoping you would.”

Cas grinned, “Of course I came over, you left me hanging, wanting more. Wanting to see you, to touch you. In fact, I came over to see how much you might let me touch you, and where.”

He raised his eyebrows twice at Dean.

“Come on!” Dean couldn’t believe how freely Cas would say such things, “Someone will hear you.”

“There’s no one here except us. Oh, and your dad’s fish.” He motioned to John Winchester’s large tank of saltwater fish. Cas kept looking at Dean, breathed in then said, “You didn’t have to walk home, I could have given you a ride. It would be nice to drive anywhere with you, just the two of us in my car, hanging out, parking someplace.”

“Jesus, Cas. Please don’t start this again.” He shifted on his feet then continued, “Alastair and the others, they don’t let anyone else in. We’ve been friends for so long…”

“Dean,” Cas interrupted, “Those guys are not your friends. Friends don’t…”

“I know! I know they can be total assholes sometimes. But dude, they are my friends.”

“Today at lunch…”

“Let’s not talk about that.”

Dean sat back down at his end of the couch. The last thing he wanted was to make Aaron, or the way he and his friends treated him an issue. “Nothing happened.”

Cas shook his head, “I don’t understand how you can treat Aaron the way you do. When we’re the same as he is. We are him, you have no right to make fun of him, or treat him like shit.”

“We’re not like him, Cas,” Dean loudly defended himself and Cas. “Not really. He’s a queen. He prances around school, nearly begging people to make fun of him. He deserves…”

“Stop! Don’t say that.” Cas straightened himself on the couch. “Maybe he does ‘prance around’ and act like a ‘queen,’ but that doesn’t give anyone the right to abuse him for it. Think for a moment, Dean. Maybe he acts that way because that’s just who he is. He’s not the jock, the egghead, or even the vice president of Student Council…”

“Or the rebel from the big-city with any cause?” Dean motioned back toward Cas.

Cas didn’t say anything, just kept looking at Dean thinking about something then finally asked, “He’s more of a rebel then I’ll ever be. But that’s not really what bothers you about him, is it? What really bothers you about him is that he knows you’re gay, right?”

Oh, how Dean hated when Cas used that word to describe himself or Dean. It hit him hard, and made him feel entirely uncomfortable wincing every time he heard it.

“Fuck.” Dean had to admit, “I guess that’s part of it,”

Dean thought about if for a moment, thought back to the spring and the conversation he and Aaron had on the bleachers in the gym. Looking back now, he couldn’t believe the things he admitted to Aaron, and how lost and confused he felt then.

Cas continued, “You shouldn’t hate him, or even be mad at him for that. After all, you were the one who brought it up, told him about us. You needed someone to talk to and he was there for you.”

“No, no. I didn’t tell him about us. I only...”

“Why not? What did you tell him?”

“I just told him about the feelings I was having for another guy, I left your name out of it on purpose. I was still on crutches, my first day back at school. Coach Zachariah benched me from PE. Aaron was already benched for getting into another fight.”

Dean thought back to that time, how he felt and how good it felt to share his feelings with someone, “We started talking, and I brought it up. I had to say something to someone; I had so many questions. It was driving me crazy, or as least it had me thinking I was crazy. He didn’t make fun of me or make me feel ashamed. He only sat and listened, and he answered my questions. I still can’t believe he never told anyone, never brought it up, or threw it back in my face.”

Cas said, “You know, you could have talked to me.”

“No, it had to be someone else, and I knew he would understand.”

“He’s been a good friend to you.”

“I’ll make it up to him.”

“You don’t need to make it up to him. The only thing you need to do is treat him with respect the next time you see him.”

Dean thought for a moment then said, “You’re right, I shouldn’t hate Aaron, or be mad at him for what he is. But… when we’re in school, when people see us together, I get this creepy feeling that everyone will figure what I am. I don’t want to be a target the way he is. Everyone says such horrible things to him, and about him. Can you blame me for not wanting that?”

“No, Dean, I can’t blame you for that, but most of the people who tease Aaron are your friends. You don’t really want to be like them, do you? Another person who torments Aaron?”

Again Dean thought about Aaron and how he was, and how foreign his behavior seemed to him. It never occurred to him to behave like that, or to be that feminine. Then it came to me that maybe it never occurred to Aaron to be masculine, or to want to dress or act the way Dean and his friends did. Surely, their behavior and actions were just as foreign to him. Then the thoughts returned about how easy it was for him at school, how no one bothered him, and how fast that could change if he acted more like Aaron or if they found out he was like Aaron.

Finally he said, “I guess we’re lucky that we can hide.”

“We don’t have to hide, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes not wanting to hear another speech like the one he gave him last spring encouraging them to come out, and openly walk around campus as a couple. He told Cas back then that he must be crazy because no sane person who grew up in their town would even consider such an outrageous thing. As flamboyant and carefree as Aaron was, Dean doubted that even he would walk through the school halls holding another guy’s hand.

“I don’t care what people will think of us, or what they’ll do to us,” Cas continued.

“That’s easy for you to say. You don’t know what it’s like in a town like this. People like Aaron and Charlie and Dorothy they learn how to survive and do their best to fit in, well maybe not Aaron. But they’ve all been the targets of people like Alastair, and even from people who you might think weren’t like that. People who call themselves Christians and say they’re standing up for their religious rights. I’ve heard friends, people I didn’t think were bigots, say things that made me sick to my stomach. People are so afraid of what’s different, of what they don’t understand.”

Cas earnestly listened, but didn’t respond.

“Believe me, Cas, you don’t want to be targeted for being too different. High School is hard enough as it is, I don’t want to live here and have everyone know _that_ about me, and have to deal with that too! I don’t want to be a target. Next fall, I’ll be somewhere where people won’t hate me for something I can’t change.”

“This place you’re running to, Dean, it doesn’t exist. There will always be people who hate you for the wrong reasons, and that goes for everybody.”

“That may be true, but I’m hoping in smaller numbers.”

Dean looked at Cas and pleaded, “Listen. We only have this year left. There’s no way we should come out. Let’s get through this last year, clear and easy.”

Cas then asked with more than just a hint of sarcasm, “With your girlfriend?”

Dean’s stomach sank. He hated when Cas brought up that fact too. But in his heart, Dean knew Cas he had every right to bring her up and be angry about it. Although, he rarely did bring it up, it was easy to see that it really bothered him and obviously, it would.

“Yes, with my girlfriend,” Dean answered reluctantly.

“I don’t know how much longer I can put up with that.”

Dean leaned his body back into the plush couch then looked back at Cas, “It won’t be much longer.”

“Until we escape… to California?”

“Yes, please bear with me. I’m trying…”

“What are you trying?” He asked.

“I’m trying to accept, and be comfortable with… with everything. At least, I’m going to start trying.”

“Well, I guess that’s something,” he said.

“Cas, I don’t mean to act like such an asshole with you or anyone else. I’m so afraid of getting caught or of someone finding out and telling my parents. They would never understand. It scares me to think of how they might react if they caught us, especially my dad.”

“Your parents love me. You heard your mom. I’m always welcomed.” Cas cheerfully stated.

“Think about it, Cas. How welcomed would you be, if she knew?” Dean hanged his head down and breathed in deeply, “How welcomed would I be, if she knew?”

Dean looked back to Cas, but all he did was show a weak smile because he too, even with all his bravado, had no idea of what might happen if Dean’s conservative parents were to learn that their eldest son preferred to be with guys instead of girls.


	2. Thoughts on Homosexuality

Sammy slid into his regular seat at the dinner table, late as usual, to catch John Winchester’s ever-watchful eye. He smiled sheepishly at his father who winked back at him.

 

“Where were you coming from, Sammy?” John asked as he put a napkin on his lap.

 

“I was over at Jessica’s. She downloaded a pirate copy of the new Star Trek series, well a trailer. It looks great.”

 

“A new Star Trek _series_?” John winced in confusion.

 

Sam smiled with a nod, “Yeah, it’s set about tens ahead of the Enterprise’s fiver year journey.”

 

John thought for a moment then asked, “Which timeline?”

 

“I’m guessing the new timeline.” Sam continued, “If it’s set ten years in the current timeline’s past, that’s still after Nero screwed up the original. At least, I think.”

 

John then said, “That should be interesting. Have you shown her the old original series, yet?”.

 

Sam nodded then admitted, “We’ve watched some.”

 

“Some?”

 

He laughed a bit and added, “Dad, they’re kind of outdated. It’s hard to sit through an entire episode of most of them.”

 

“Not true, Sammy!” John laughed with his son. “They’re classics.”

Mary popped her head out of the kitchen, looked to Sam and asked, “Honey, can you give me a quick hand?”

 

Sam sprang up from his chair, and went into the kitchen.

 

John turned his attention to his older son and his friend who sat across from each other at the other end of the table, “What were you boys up to?”

 

Dean nervously looked over to Cas then back to his father, “Nothing! I mean, nothing special.”

 

“Research, Mr. Winchester,” Cas offered. “We were doing research.”

 

Before Cas could say anything outrageous like “human sexuality,” Dean responded with, “I’m going to do my term paper on Kurt Vonnegut.”

 

“Yeah, Dean likes his criticism of the inequalities in the distribution of wealth in our capitalistic society,” Cas said with that mischievous smile of his.

 

“Really?” John looked over to his son.

 

“Not exactly, Dad,” Dean answered.  
  
Just then Sam came out of the kitchen with a pitcher of tea, put it in front of their father then sat down next to Cas. Mary followed with the rest of dinner, placed it around the table then sat across from John.

 

“So, how was school today?” Mary asked once everyone’s glasses and plates were full. “Any of you do anything interesting?”

 

“Well,” Sam smiled gleefully at Dean then continued. “I heard that Dean and his friends got into a fight today during lunch in the cafeteria with Aaron Bass.”  

 

“What?” Mary sharply turned to Dean, “You were fighting in school? What happened?”

 

“Nothing happened, Mom. I didn’t get into a fight with Aaron. I didn’t even _almost_ get into a fight with Aaron. During lunch, he came over to our table and started talking to Alastair and me. Alastair and the others kind of gave him a hard time. That’s all. Cas was there.”

 

Dean turned to his friend, “Cas, tell her, nothing happened.”

           

“Nothing happened, Mrs. Winchester,” Cas answered. “Alastair pretty much told him to get lost, and he did. Alastair was being total jackass. Aaron wasn’t doing anything.”

 

“Aaron.” John Winchester shook his head, “That kid has problems.”

 

“Why do you say that Mr. Winchester?” Cas asked.

 

“He’s not right.” John continued, not looking at Cas keeping his head focused on his plate, “He goes against the grain, his behavior is unnatural. It’s not only unnatural, it doesn’t make sense.”

 

John then faced Cas lecturing him as had Dean and Sam on subjects like homosexuality, how a man should keep his word and similar subjects on what makes a man a man. “Sex is a pleasurable experience, but it’s not just that. You have to remember the biological part that goes along with it. Sex is designed to promote procreation. Without that very important component, you’re dealing with man’s inability to overcome his impulses. Aaron is the kind who can’t control his impulses. Impulses, I might add that are basically abnormal. In the same way an alcoholic can’t control his.”

 

“But why is that a problem?” Cas pushed the issue.

 

Both Mary and John were used to Cas’s infectious, if not exacerbating personality. Dean knew that Mary really liked him and even liked how inquisitive he was, but he also that John thought he asked too many questions.

 

John asked, “What do you mean?”

 

“Well, why is it a problem, if Aaron gives into his impulses? If that’s is who he is?”

 

“Because Cas,” John continued sternly. “Aaron is giving into impulses that are contrary to the norm of our society, like a sociopath who kills a member of his family.”

 

“So, Aaron is a sociopath?” Cas wouldn’t quit.

 

Sam held back his laughter clearly amused at the game of questions Cas played with their father. Dean couldn’t help but love Cas and his probing, lighthearted nature, but at the same time he didn’t like the way he pushed their father or led Dean into lying or hiding things from his parents because of those questions. Again, he felt the urge to flee, to get away from his home so neither he or his parents would have to deal with his abnormal impulses.

 

“No, Cas. I didn’t say that.” John paused before continuing, “Only that he, like a sociopath, can’t control uh…uncommon urges.”

 

Cas then turned to Mary, “Is that what you think Mrs. Winchester?”

 

“No, Cas.” My mom quickly responded. She looked directly at John Winchester, then back to Cas. “I think Aaron is very young, and he may not know what, or who he is yet. And if he is someone who goes against the norm, well, then he’s going to have a very difficult life, and so is the rest of his family. I still see Aaron’s mother at the grocery store, or in town from time to time. In the past, she was always pleasant and eager to chitchat. But nowadays, she turns the other way and acts like she doesn’t see me.”

 

“What about you?” To Dean’s dismay Cas turned to him next, “What do you think?”

 

Dean couldn’t help be charmed by the smirk on Cas’ face, but he wouldn’t play his game. He couldn’t lie to his parents, or pretend that it bothered him like it did them and so he answered, “You skipped Sammy.” With his fork he pointed to his younger brother, “I think it’s his turn.”

 

“Ok,” Cas looked to him, “Sam, what do you think?”

 

“I like Aaron,” Sam declared loudly. “I’ll say it here, and I’ll it in school. I think he’s very brave for not being afraid to be himself, even in a small town like ours.”

 

Dean had to speak up at that point, “You watch the news. People in ‘small towns like ours’ get killed for being themselves, and by _real_ sociopaths.”

 

Sam went on, “I know that, and so does Aaron. That’s what makes him so brave. Like today when he…”

 

Dean winced internally at Sam’s truth. Aaron was brave and made him seem all the more cowardly. Then part of the conversation earlier in the day popped back into his head and allowed him to cut off his brother, “I just remembered! Tonight is Back-to-School Night.”

 

Sam glared at Dean with slight confusion as Mary dropped her spoon onto her plate with a loud clatter. John turned to Dean and asked, “Why are we barely hearing about this now?”

 

“It starts at 6:30. It’s barely 6 o’clock. You have plenty of time, if you want to go,” Dean offered.

 

John shook his head, “Two kids in this house going to the same school, and this is the first we hear about it, and 20 minutes before it starts?”

 

“Hey, I’m still getting used to the place,” Sam tried to explain. Yeah Dean thought to myself, he had a hard time adjusting to being a freshman at the high school after being pushed ahead one year, but he was sure quick to spread any gossip he heard.

 

John then looked at Mary. She nodded. They both got up hurriedly going upstairs to their bedroom. Almost immediately they came down wearing their coats, Mom with keys in her hand. She turned to the three of them still seated at the table and said, “Ok, we’re off. Please clear the table when you’re done and put everything away while we’re out. There’s cake in the kitchen if you want dessert.”

 

With that she and John were gone, and Dean and the others sat quietly finishing their dinner. Sam tossed his napkin onto his plate when he was done eating and proposed, “How about this, Dean? I clear everything off the table, put everything away, and you wash the dishes.”

           

“That’s okay, we’ll take care of everything,” Cas quickly responded.

 

With some surprise, Sam asked, “Really?”

 

Dean nodded with a smile.

 

“Nice.” He pushed in his chair, and headed for the stairs.

 

Cas smiled at Dean and reached across the table to put a hand on his.

 

“Uh…” Sammy turned back. Cas quickly retracted his hand. “Thanks, guys.”

 

Cas responded, “No problem.”

 

Sam nodded then went up the stairs.  

 

As Dean and Cas sat there in silence, Dean couldn’t help but think about all the things his parents said. How could the feelings he have for Cas, be anything but natural? Was he really prepared to face all the difficulties his mother said came along with the lifestyle she would accuse him of choosing?  He still didn’t fully understand what was happening to him, or the feelings he felt for his friend, but he did know that he didn’t choose for any of it to happen.

 

He especially didn’t choose to become a victim of the things that were sure to follow. Again, he wanted nothing more than to leave his happy home before anything destroyed that happiness, or before something could happen that would make his parents stop loving him. And yet, even back then he knew it was all going to happen. Cas with a great intuition for someone his age, appeared to know the thoughts that plagued him and reached his hand over once more to give it a tender squeeze.


End file.
